Weeks o’ Fun Are Over…. October 31, 2007

Cause I got a job!!! Yeah, thats right – its almost freaky how easy it was. Jess and I went downtown to print out resume’s and get all ready – I printed out 20 thinking that I might need more – but ohh no….. I’m just that good. We were walking back towards Eagle Street Pier where there is a bunch of restaurants and we were just planning on papering them all when she dipped in to a small coffee shop - 10 minutes later she came out with a job! So we continued on down the road and made it to the Pier – I stepped in to Pier Nine (Brisbane’s most awarded seafood restaurant, natch) and Jess went into a Coffee Club (its kind of like if Starbucks and Panera had a baby) and we both came out five minutes later with jobs! Needless to say, I still have 19 resumes. What a waste of paper. Last night was my first night and let me tell you I worked my little ass off. I miss the days of Goodfellows when everyone spoke the same language and you actually got trained and there were rules. First of all, it was complete hell just to find an acceptable pair of black pants – I never thought I would say this, but I miss the Gap. Hardcore. I get there yesterday and Jade, the guy who was taking me through my training blew through it in about 45 minutes – then strapped his mo-ped helmet on and flew out the door. I then spent the next hour folding napkins awaiting further instruction. My trainer (if I can even call her that) was a girl of about 20 or 21 who spent the entire night dividing her time between flirting with the sous chef and whining about her stupid sunburn. She could’ve really cared less if I didn’t know where tables were – she just kept throwing food at me and telling me to take it out. Seriously, after 30 minutes I was sweating like a whore in church, my wrists were killing me and I thought I might just walk out the door. Man, those three years behind a desk did nothing but soften my attitude and behind. I have already decided if I work with her again tonight I’m going to have to lay down a little ground rules – such as, A – tell me what the dishes are – I have no idea and its obvious B – please don’t use “I don’t have an apron and can’t go out on the floor” as an excuse – I saw four aprons in the kitchen and if you would just open your dang eyes you would see them too. and C – Well, I can’t remember c – so lets just stick with a and b. Jeeez…. I guess I’m a little worked up..

 So, tonight its back to the grind – apparently no one cares its Halloween here – and now I work every night until Sunday -then its back to Pier Nine for a double on Tuesday. Four shifts a week my ace – I really don’t think Jade was listening to me.  ALright – I need to recharge my phone and open a bank account – Hopefully there will be more updates soon – I’m sure work is going to be anything but boring tonight.

Uncle Feng – sorry to hear about Jack Sparrow- maybe he just had a Camel or something?? Ann Marie – quit sending me recipe forwards or I’ll start sending you power point presentations with animals dressed as people and kittens with baby faces and inspirational quotes, all set to the powerful ballads of Celine Dion – What were you and Dan O for Halloween??? Katie A – CONGRATS on the engagement!!! Seems like everyone I freaking know has gotten engaged since I left – Karah  start answering your phone – Mom and Dad  – I Miss you and love you -

All I Want for Halloween….. October 28, 2007

Thanks again everyone for all the comments – they are so fun to read! Well, its day three in our humble little motel lobby – and things are definitely not as bad as I thought they were going to be. Yesterday I spent almost the entire day by the pool. Sounds relaxing right? Well, the thing that I have come to learn is that kids also like pools. Kids also like balls, goggles, screaming and running. Parents of these kids find it best to spend their time at the pool not watching said kids, but smoking cigarettes and gossiping with each other. I think the third time I was hit with a soccer ball getting me and my book soaking wet the “nanny” of one of the kids yelled ” Oi…. Jacko quit hitting that lady!!!” (yes, unfortunately the kids name was Jacko) She did this in between puffs of her 13 or 14th cig, the other parent just kept talking to another man – I’m sure they were solving world hunger issues. After that relaxing afternoon, I typed up my resume – we finished a bottle of wine while watching Lilo and Stich (don’t judge – we get three channels and American DVD’s don’t work in Australian players, go figure) we decided to actually go out!! Thats right faithful readers – contrary to popular belief, we aren’t losers!!! There is a great bar right down the road from the lobby called the Story Bridge Hotel – it has about four bars and a restaurant in it – drinks aren’t too overpriced and Jess got hit on by four separate groups of dudes!! Score for her!! Oh yeah, Dan and I were also just beating them off with sticks – it was insane – once people found out we were American it was like bees to honey – amazing really….

Other than that – tomorrow is the beginning of Job Hunt 2007: Australian Edition. I hope to be gainfully employed by the end of the week. There needs to be some money coming in to off set the amount going out the door in the form of rent – know what I mean?

Thanks to all who so graciously offered to send prizes – off the top of my head at the moment, I would suggest magazines (preferrably US Weekly, People, Rolling Stone, Marie Claire or hell, I’d settle for Glamour), possibly some sunflower seeds (dill pickle or regular), some unsweetended ice tea (they don’t believe in it here apparently), refried beans and Hidden Valley Ranch packets (two other things they don’t believe in here), a box of hair dye preferably blond (don’t judge me – I can’t take the dirt brown growth anymore and there is no way I could afford to walk into a salon for anything other than an eyebrow wax, which I am also in need of) and maybe a book or two?? I know, I know – its asking for a lot. But I figure you can all channel your feelings of missing me into gifts. Plus, if you send me something – I’ll then have your address and will be able to send cheap Australian trinkets, boomarangs, stuffed koalas, novelty lighters, postcards and bumper stickers – who the hell wouldn’t want that!!!

Seriously – a card would do – anyway – we hope to have internet up and running at Motel JDJ by the end of the week as well – so these will get much more frequent ( I can hear the cheers of joy now) – we just need to get our landloard Hingh Singh over to hook it all up – Hope everyone is doing well – Grandpa John – great comments – its funny to think of you as a sewing machine salesman – Emily congrats on your engagement – Jenn I’m so pumped to hear I am ranking up there with DListed – Callie I was forced to watch so you think you can dance the other night and don’t kill me, but the judge on there reminds me of you for some reason – Tara hang in there things can only get better at 3240 – Everyone else I love you and miss you – except my brothers, I haven’t heard a peep out of either of you and that means sorry Jate, no presents for you at Christmas.

There’s a kind of hush…. All over the world tonight October 25, 2007

I HAVE AN ADDRESS!!! Yes, I repeat – I have an address!!! Sure, the apartment is in what used to be the lobby (our new building is a converted hotel) and there are random doors everywhere (a door in the bathroom opens into the parking lot) but hey, its not Palace Backpackers!! Just in the nick of time too. True, we have had another roommate change – this time its Deborah – an English woman who is independently wealthy and is planning on spending the next year or two traveling. She’s already been on the road for a year – gone through all of South East Asia and Australia and has really no plans to stop. Actually, she’s quite normal, but I am ready to stop living out of a suitcase and actually get a job.

 Sorry for the delay in postings – I’ve just had nothing but depressing news to report. My highlight of the past few days is eating lunch at the food court in Meyer Center. Yeah, I know – the highlight of my day is eating – weird. I also never thought I would throughoughly enjoy something as mundane as a food court – but seriously, I am one chicken schnitzel burger away from swearing off food forever. Other than that we have been just walking around the city – looking at places and trying to convince someone that we are trustworthy enough to rent to. Jess has been walking around with her phone in her hand for the past two days lest she misses a call from a potential landlord. All that is over now – we move into the dump, er I mean – lovely apartment tomorrow (Friday) and then its on to the next challenge. Work. Dan is in Cleveland today trying to get a job with a scuba company – I think he’ll be working for free for the first week as he gets certified to be a scuba diver (why he didn’t decide to do this earlier is beyond me – but he is stubborn and feels the need to get this job just so he can shove it in our faces and say “HA! I told you I could do it!”) Cleveland is about an hour away by train – and then he has to catch the ferry across the bay to North Stradbrook Island. If nothing comes of that today he has resigned himself to work at a bar or something. Who knows, he may start a bootleg DVD business considering he felt it neccessary to lug along 30 movies in his GIANT hockey bag.

I’ve got to finish my resume – drink a bottle of wine in celebration that I actually have a real address and tomorrow start beating down doors with my winning personality. I need a new crop of unsuspecting people to make fun of. Just kidding – what I really mean is I need to lower my guard and actually make a friend or two.

So, I know you’ve all been dying to send me cards, presents, letters, food, dishes, prizes and whatnot – so if you want the address of Hotel JDJ – just shoot me an email and I will eagerly await the tens of cards that will come shooting through my mailbox.

I love and miss you all – Brett, quit pretending  you are Gladys – its all too real that she would have a voodoo doll – Breann – thanks for the heads-up on housesitting send me those links, they could come in handy in the future – Karah – tell Leng I have no idea how to tell the difference between a Hmong or a Korean so I have yet to find his long lost relatives – Mom and Dad – I’ll call soon – 3240 Irving – hope all is well there and things are holding together – keep the updates on mail and everything coming – Dan’s mom – if you are reading this – he is really doing great -

We’ve come a long way…. baby. October 21, 2007

Well…. lets see – I hope I’m not boring all (seven) of you with what’s going on in my random life. Yesterday we took the train to Surfer’s Paradise to see if maybe we liked it there a bit more than Brisbane and would like to change our locale. Of course none of us are thinking straight yet and had completely forgotten that it was Saturday, oh and that it was the weekend of Indy – a huge race where the entire city shuts down and turns into a complete drunken brawl. So, yeah – we looked around a bit, saw a lot of drunks – sat on an actual beach in front of the ocean and came no closer to a decision on where we want to live. Jess and I have learned that we are process people. We need a plan and we need it now – we need a closet and an actual key and a place to relax. Dan, on the other hand is a dreamer. He has more luggage than Jess or I – but he thinks we can just travel willy nilly up and down the coast until we decide where we want to live. I don’t think the concept of “job” has entered his head – I love the kid but seriously – I’m 10 seconds away from freaking out. Just kidding – I’ve got nothing but love for that little man child. To top off the non productive day I was “blessed” with a case of the stomach flu – which hit me right on the train ride home. Since we were on an express route – I had to watch in agony as we whipped past 10 or 15 stops, only to come to one just in the nick of time. I raced off the train to find that the bathroom was locked – and the chinese grocery store across the street was closed and the people there did not speak English. I can’t go into further details, lets just say I left my dignity in that parking lot. I wonder when I’ll recover emotionally.

Alright – this entry has taken a turn for the worst… hmmm – in other news, we moved rooms and have lost dreddie forever. Jess and I actually got some words out of him and it turns out he is French and used to work as a sandwich boi (imagine cute french accent here) in Melbourne. We didn’t mourn his loss until we re-checked in to our room and found that Jess and I were booked in one three person room and Dan in another. Wouldn’t have been so bad except our new roomie is a very tiny Filipino woman who looooooves to chat. Oh, and she’s 65. One would think that after the age of 40 you would pony up for a hotel room but apparently not. I didn’t mind her too much except for when she decided to wake up at 6:00 this morning and start rummaging through every single possesion she had. To top it off, said possesions are individually wrapped in tissue paper and she sounded like 4,000 elves in Santa’s workshop on December 23 feverishly wrapping gifts. Oh, and she talks to herself and moans in her sleep. I miss you dreddie!!!!

Ok – today, Sunday – may take a trip to the botanical gardens – may just laze around. My calves need a break.

I miss you and love you all – I REALLY love comments. Uncle Feng – hilarious as usual. Mommy – thank you for the three minute voice mail this morning – you saved me day.

More to come……

Oh the things you learn….. October 19, 2007

Alright….. Its Friday night at about 6:00 pm – that’s 14 hours ahead of all you midwesterners. We have spent the last two days on foot canvassing the city for housing. I feel as if I have been training for the three day. Some interesting tidbits I have picked up along the way -

 1 – I hate hills. I long for the days when I complained about the flat lands of Minnesota and North Dakota. Let me tell you my butt has never hurt so much – not to mention my swollen feet, calves and thighs. Look, mom – exercise!!!! Not to mention I am constantly trailing behind the marathon queen and Dan the Adventure Man Child – I feel like they are my counselors on an episode of MADE “I want to be thin”

2 – An “unfurnished” apartment means you are lucky if it has a stove. Seriously – refridgerators are a luxury and if you rent an unfurnished apartment plan on getting one. Also – if you ask where the laundry is, the realtor will point to a hose on the wall and say that’s where it is. Follow up question is of course, “well, is there a laundromat in the area?” Is met with a laugh and a head shake. Apparently Australians are richie riches. Its no wonder they are on level five water restrictions

3- Kitchens can fit in an entire closet. Seriously. We looked at a furnished apartment where the realtor pulled back a closet door to reveal a stove, fridge, dishwasher and sink. I felt as if I was in hobbit heaven. The best part was when she just kept banging on about how much crockery there was in the place – “There’s just sooo much crockery I can’t believe it!! Oh, the other bed is just outside temporarily – and sorry it smells of domestiss.” ARGH……

4 – Never, I repeat NEVER eat a chicken schnitzel burger. I feel as if my love affair with poultry is once again coming to an end. See – you would think (or at least in my naive mind, I would) that Chicken Schnitzel is maybe just a chicken patty – or at worst, a chicken sausage – both I was willing to endure considering the entire dinner was $6 compliments of the lovely Palace Backpackers… But NOOOOOO – Chicken Schnitzel is random parts of a chicken – both dark and white meat just thrown together and breaded…. I shudder at the thought now. Gone are the days of an all white breast of chicken. I guess I’ll have to keep eating Japanese take away – at least they’ve got the memo that not everyone likes the dark meat….

5- It is possible for three people to not speak for 2 hours. Sure – we are getting along -but the stress of finding a place to live is taking its toll. I have been sound asleep by 8:00 pm every night – and up again at 8:00 am to start the day.

6 – People need a lesson on condiments. Every salad comes with 1000 island – no choice on that one – mustard is a forgotten dream of mine and sandwiches come with this weird BBQ sauce on it. Oh – and sweet chili sauce is actually sweet and sour – not to mention they don’t keep their eggs in the cooler. I keep waiting for a cracking noise and the egg section to be filled with tiny baby chicks.

7 – It is impossible to shave or do anything resembling getting really clean while under the pressure of taking a 4 minute shower. I keep picturing some woman with a whistle waiting outside my shower stall – after four minutes she’ll blow the whistle and shut off the water – where I’ll be left with a head full of shampoo and dirty feet. I have never longed for a 10 minute shower so bad in my life. Its a wonder our room doesn’t smell worse between the three of us and dreddie, our scandinavian roomie. ( I thought he hated us, but now I have realized he doesn’t speak any English….meh)

So – all in all, things are tiring. Beautiful scenery – friendly people – but I am beat down. Haven’t seen or even thought of a TV since I’ve been here – Would pay anything for a USA Today or some free internet. Maybe after this I’ll indulge and read a little gossip Web site -who knows. Thanks for all the comments – They remind me I am not forgotten!!! I miss you all and love you all. Now I am off to pick something “delicious” off our $6 special meal deal… will it be the veggie burger or the breaded fish – we’ll see…..

 Tomorrow we’ve got another apartment appointment although the building manager seemed like a real prick – after that its relaxation time and we are heading to the beach!!!

So much to do….. October 17, 2007

What up everyone – we are here!!! Yup, after a grueling five hour layover in LA that turned into about seven – then sitting through a 14 hour flight we have finally made it. Well, actually we made it yesterday – but I was on sensory overload. Brisbane is great – overwhelming at first, but since we walked around the entire city yesterday, I’m feeling a lot better about getting around. There are about one million job postings everywhere – so not worried about that either…… Ugh this was a lot funnier in my head -but now writing it makes it seem sooo mundane. I do have to give a shout out to Ivan – a fellow American working in the City Hall here. He talked Jess and my ears off yesterday when we asked him where we should plan on looking for housing. He not only told us that the Valley is where the gays are (not that he’s against that) but also wanted to let us know that islanders like to fight and we wouldn’t be told to eff off, but be told eff off American bitch. Apparently we looked like troublemakers and needed to be given the truth about how we would eventually be told off. Oh Ivan, full of random knowledge.

 So – yeah – today is getting immigration stuff taken care of, finding a place to live and checking more stuff out. Miss you and love you all – pictures to come. (When I decide to take some, that is……)

Running out of time October 15, 2007

Its about 11:30 and I feel like time is running out. Dan and I are feverishly cleaning, packing, bickering – you know, the usual things anyone does before getting ready to leave. Jessey and her parents will be picking us up at 2:30 and then we will fly off to our new adventure. Just to answer everyone’s questions – we are leaving for Brisbane, Australia today – will arrive at about 6:00 am on Wednesday – we’ll be staying in a hostel until we find a regular apartment and then will start looking for jobs. Yes I am excited – albeit nervous. I have no idea how long we’ll be gone – or what we’ll do first when we land.

 Hopefully this blog will be updated regularly – Don’t worry – I’ll get in touch with everyone when I have a phone or an address. I just wanted to get this started before we left -so… yeah – thats about it. Back to cleaning.